Thursday, May 13, 2010
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Relationship Cures Proven Methods
"How To Save Your Relationship"
The Magic Of Making Up is a collection of proven relationship cures, techniques and strategies for men and women with a real world down to earth perspective on helping real people fix their relationships.
*The 4 Types Of Relatioinship Breakups *
When there is a relationship breakup usually one person gets hurt more than the other. If you have just suffered a breakup and were on the receiving end then we understand the pain you're going through.
In a relationship, we all want someone we can count on; to spend our lives with, share our dreams, pick us up when we are down. All relationships start out with good intentions but for whatever reason, many go stale, have financial issues, child problems, suffer infidelity issues or simply one person just falls out of love.
The breakup of a relationship has been described as similar to that of losing someone close to you in death. Emotional stress is at an all time high and when this occurs, people can do irrational things. But did you know that unlike death, you can bring someone back into your life but you need to understand the type of breakup you're going through.
There is one true fact, not all relationships can be saved. The truth is, some just shouldn't be saved. But many can be and if you are on a mission to save yours and there's still hope then you need to know the right techniques to use with each type of break up.
*Types Of Relationship Breakups*
#1. Abusive Relationship Breakups
Unfortunatly in today's world this is becoming all to common. This is a relationship breakup that should stay a break up. Run Do Not Walk Away. Unlike the other relationship breakups, this one can and should stick. There's a chance that you may be considering returning to someone who physically or mentally abused you, but you need to stick with this kind of breakup. No one should take being abused.
#2. The By Mutual Agreement Breakups
Sometimes, both people in the relationship may want out and the relationship ends by mutual consent. Now, if this is truly a mutual breakup, there's a good chance that this is another relationship that shouldn't be repaired. On the other hand, if it was just called a relationship and was really one of the next two kinds of relationship breakups, that's a different matter entirely.
#3. They Left You
This one hurts the most. If this has happened to you, what you need to do first is figure out exactly why the relationship ended. Once you know this, you have to decide if what went wrong is fixable. If it is something you can and want to fix, then this needs to be your starting point.
#4. You Left Your Partner
Sometimes as human beings we make irrational and quick decisions without thinking it all the way thru. When this happens, the first thing you need to do is reestablish trust. This means that you're going to essentially start the relationship over. Start slow, with coffee dates or something similar, and then work your way slowly towards repairing the relationship.
No matter which of the relationship break ups you've experienced, you need to be aware that help is out there. You just need to find the right kind of advice and instruction to allow you to mend feeling and repair your relationship with your ex.
Author of The Magic Of Making Up, T W Jackson says one of the keys to fixing your relationship is to think counter-intuitively. That is, do the exact opposite of what you're thinking of doing. Confused?
*How To Save Your Relationship*
*Try These Counterintuitive Techniques That Work!*
Right now if you are reading this you're looking for an answer in how to save your relationship. You're probably "treading egg shells" right at the moment because one wrong move and you could lose your ex forever.
We know what you're going through and the information put together here is based on helping you avoid the wrong move.
In other words, if you're thinking of calling your ex then don't. Instead, play it cool and step back from the urge.
One of the techniques in the Magic Of Making Up book taught by Jackson is to agree with the break up no matter how hard it is and just simply accept the fact that you've broken up.
Now before you click away in disgust think about why you would do this. This is the complete opposite to what you really want to do isn't it. It's because your ex is upset with you and the relationship at the moment. They are unhappy with something.
By leaving them alone and confirming their decision you are giving them the time they need and you need for them to respect and miss you again.
If you didn't like the first suggestion then this second one may cause some concern. Basically, cut off all communication with your ex.
Now before you click the back button hear me out. This is coming from someone who has been there before and a major reason why the Magic Of Making Up is so successful.
This technique serves a two-fold process. It helps you in overcoming the trauma of the initial break up as well as giving your ex time to miss you again.
Time heals all wounds...maybe not but in this situation, providing you didn't do something despicable, then there is a chance it will prevail. But if you are going to continually remind your ex of that then they will never get the chance to get over the reasons why they broke up with you in the first place.
The truth is, if you have tried everything you know to win at your relationship but are struggling to even make an impression, then it may be time to seek advice elsewhere.
T W Jackson touches on the impact on your life in The Magic Of Making Up and those around you if you let panic and desperation take over your feelings. In short, it does no-one any good and in many cases can be devastating.
* 7 Tips To Get Your Ex Back *
1. Sit down on your own and take some time to go through what happened and what were the issues that led up to your breakup?
Don't concern yourself too much with what you see as your ex's mistakes, leave that for the future. Only concern yourself right now with what you can influence.
2. Whatever mistakes you find in your past behavior, can they be forgiven?
Don't be too eager to get down on yourself and believe that your mistakes are basically unforgivable. You would be surprised at the situations that couples find themselves in and that they later recover from. So don't think that your mistakes are beyond forgiveness. There is always hope!
3. Try and pin point what was happening in your life at the time that led you to make the mistakes, especially if it was completely out of character for you. Remember what I said about facing hard truths, if you want to get back with an ex, then you need to do this.
4. You might discover that you were under certain stresses and strains.
Perhaps you were under threat at your job? Or you weren't physically feeling yourself? Or perhaps there were other family issues. Whatever you find when you look back at what happened, you will eventually need to sit down with your ex and explain in detail just what you have found.
5. If your mistakes were the result of you just being thoughtless or selfish, then this is something about you and your character that can quite easily be fixed. It will take ongoing monitoring but if you are sincerely committed to "get back with my ex", then it is going to be worthwhile.
6. When you have come to the point where you have begun to gain perspective about your mistakes, then call your ex and arrange to meet. It is usually better to arrange a face to face meeting somewhere public and neutral because then there is less chance of either of you becoming emotional.
7. So, make sure that you stay calm and focused on what you want to say. Apologize and ask for forgiveness and then listen carefully to what your ex has to say.
*How To Apologize Correctly When Making Up*
Why "T Dub's" Clean Slate Method Rocks In The Magic Of Making Up
The apology is such an important aspect of the magic of making up that it's worth having a look at again.
In actual fact, the apology for someone spurned is the last hurdle they need to get over when getting their ex back yet many fail and end up back out the door.
Why is this? Well, it's got everything to do with sincerity and responsibility. For someone to get dumped and then follow to a tee the advice in The Magic Of Making Up and then flush everything down the drain with an insincere apology is not smart.
For starters it is deceptive in many ways. You get dumped but you want to stay in the relationship and will do whatever it takes to get back and then you say "I'm really sorry but..."
How do you react every time someone ends a sentence to you with the word but? It's just a way for the person to say "yes, I know I may have be in the wrong but you have to accept a lot of the blame yourself."
Why apologize in the first place when you don't mean it. Most people will quickly dismiss your attempt to apologize because the moment is not about them anymore, it's about you. And that's not the reason why you're there.
It's such a crucial stage in the magic of making up process that everything that has happened in the previous month on your part to get a "leg back in the door" will count for absolutely nothing unless you approach the apology in a sincere fashion.
The Clean Slate Method shows you how to nail this last hurdle in getting your ex back. T W Jackson describes this process as such a vital aspect of the making up scenario that he has dedicated a complete and separate ebook to the topic. It comes as part of your Magic Of Making Up package.
There are several things one needs to do when going to their ex with an apology. Two of the major ones are being sincere and accepting total responsibility. The first we've touched on when the word "But" is mentioned but responsibility is something that's very hard for many spurned lovers to accept.
Unless you do then get used to being on the outer. It's laid out in an easy to follow blueprint in The Clean Slate Method.
The "Clean Slate Method" in The Magic Of Making Up will guide you down the correct path when apologizing and show you how to do it effectively and successfully.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)